


Green III: Sightseeing

by Viridian5



Series: Green [3]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: Crack Fic, M/M, Threesome, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-10-06
Updated: 1998-10-06
Packaged: 2017-10-02 09:22:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viridian5/pseuds/Viridian5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The AlleyRat, LabMouse, Fox, and GreenMouse hit the road for some relaxation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Green III: Sightseeing

**Author's Note:**

> There's a teeny, tiny spoiler for "Piper Maru" and "Apocrypha." That ultra-fruity way of saying the word "torture" comes from the _Teenagers from Outer Space_ episode of _Mystery Science Theater 3000_.
> 
> Dedicated to Saint Drovar for his patience and gallantry in putting a website together for me. I really thought he'd want to kill me after I sent my 50+ stories to him in two hectic days.
> 
> A lot of folks provided laughs and inspiration during the process of writing this one. Thanks to Te for the "Super Squirrel" name. Thanks to Dawn for the hot tub and letting me know how hard it would be to fool a forensic specialist (the conversation at the end was inspired by my talk with Dawn). Thanks to Holmes for beta-work, seeing that it was 3 Men in a Tub (but who is the butcher, who the baker, and who the candlestick maker?), and telling me the world _needed_ InnocentlySlutty!Mulder, Naughty!Pendrell, and BigDaddy!Krycek.

Mulder dimly heard whispering voices and felt himself being moved. With one of his worst nightmares being reenacted, he panicked, came to with a jerk, and ended up hitting a fuzzy beige floor. His side hurt after the sudden movement had pulled at the scabbed abrasions he'd gotten from being dragged by a car last night. Then the other events of last night came back...

Two sets of concerned eyes, one pair emerald green and the other warm blue with a faint green wash, looked down at him in surprise. Alex Krycek and Sean Pendrell. Mulder hadn't even known Pendrell's first name before last night, and it relieved him that he knew it now. //It would say something terrible about me if I didn't know the first name of a man who'd... who I'd... Oh, shit, I am such a slut.//

"I see a prime case of Mulder-guilt coming on," Krycek said as he gently pulled Mulder back onto the seat. "A little distraction might help."

"Where the hell am I?" Mulder asked as he rested his head on beige velour and tried not to enjoy the feel of Krycek gently stroking his hair.

"A minivan."

"You're kidding me. Why would either of you own a minivan?"

Krycek had a conspicuously innocent look on his face. "Camouflage."

The wry look on Pendrell's face suggested that the lab tech didn't believe that Krycek _owned_ the vehicle, but also didn't mind. Even the cute green mouse sitting on his shoulder looked skeptical about Krycek's story. //Is it a good or bad sign that my life is so surreal that I don't find that strange anymore?// Pendrell's slightly raised red eyebrow was so reminiscent of Scully...

"Where the hell am I? And what time is it?" The rain gently drumming against the windows, and the gray sky that went with it, made it impossible to discern.

Scully would be worried sick. At least, he hoped she would be. He would, in her place.

"North Carolina, I think, and it's 7 p.m. We're taking turns at the wheel. You woke up just as Alex was going back to pillow duty, and me to driving. You were exhausted, so we just let you sleep," Pendrell said. "I called Scully to tell her you went on vacation, so she wouldn't worry."

"She'll worry, because I _never_ go on vacation."

Krycek grinned. "It could be worse. Sean had to stop _me_ from calling in for you."

//This is a dream, right? I'll wake up soon, and _none_ of this will have happened.// "Why the hell did you kidnap me?"

"You should have seen yourself last night, Mulder," Krycek said and laughed as Mulder blushed. "Before that. If any man ever needed a vacation more, well, he'd be... Sean actually." He ruffled Pendrell's hair, making the lab tech grin. "Besides, I asked, and you agreed to come along."

"I don't remember that at all!"

"Alex, it was more an `Mmmmm' than anything else," Pendrell said.

"It was an affirmative `Mmmmm.' I could tell."

"Expert, are you?"

//I'm trapped in another state with Heckle and Jeckle. State of confusion?// "Hey! Excuse me!" he shouted, and two heads turned to him, coming back from their own private world. "Take me back."

"You _sure_ you want us to?" Krycek asked, his long, thick lashes sweeping down over shining green eyes, all innocence.

"Yes!" //I think so.// But then Krycek's hand moved lower and traced spiraling circles on the crotch of Mulder's jeans. Mulder couldn't help bucking into it a little.

As Pendrell squeezed through to sit on his other side and looked at him, Mulder realized that he never knew before how warm blue could be. In this case, warm with desire, but also with an honest concern that made his heart thump oddly. //Actually, Pendrell's eyes have that faint green tint to them now. They never did before. Maybe he's a not-quite-right alien clone? That would explain a few things...//

Pendrell nibbled at his ear. "You were injured last night, and you look like you've been running on empty for a while. I think a vacation would be a great idea. We brought you because we wanted you along."

That made it all right, somehow. So they were stroking and kissing him, and it would be impolite not to return the favor. As he melted into the touches, Mulder retained just enough presence of mind to ask, "What do I tell Scully?"

"Alien abduction, Mulder. There was nothing you could do. Followed by a mind wipe," Krycek said as he unfastened Mulder's jeans.

//Well, I _was_ abducted...// Then a disturbing thought crossed his mind. //How many alien abduction cases are really people who don't want to admit to their loved ones that they were partying?//

Perhaps sensing the turn Mulder's mind had taken, Krycek applied his tongue to the underside of Mulder's hard cock and started to draw spirals with it. The bad thought dissolved under the assault. //I'll have to keep this in mind.//

He didn't know when he had climbed into Pendrell's lap, but it felt as right as having Alex Krycek's mouth wrapped tightly around his cock. Pendrell lavished kisses on his neck and held him tightly to prevent him from rolling onto the floor. Mulder reached out blindly to caress and reward both of them, one hand petting spiky dark hair, and the other stroking a khaki-clad leg. They really didn't have enough room for what they were trying to do, so they were pressed closer together, every movement causing at least two reactions.

"Alex, you have to..." Pendrell groaned behind Mulder. The writhing agent on his lap had to driving the lab tech insane. The way he'd started to thrust against Mulder's ass certainly suggested it.

Krycek, who still retained some control, pulled back a tiny bit and looked at his two partners with fond amusement. "What, Pooky?" he asked, grinning as the vibration of his words made Mulder whimper. The green mouse scampered down onto Krycek's arm and looked at him. "Not you; the _other_ Pooky." The mouse twitched its whiskers at him, then climbed onto the armrest of the driver's seat.

"I have to get out of these pants."

"No argument here."

"Alex..."

"All right. Demanding, aren't you?" Krycek pulled Mulder toward him, but the older man fell forward with a little too much enthusiasm and knocked him backward. It left him on his back on the floor between the two front seats, with six feet of amorous federal agent draped on top of him, grinding against him. Not a bad place to be...

Mulder felt a soft touch travel down on his spine. "Mulder, do you want me to--" Pendrell started to ask.

"Yes, please," Mulder said between kisses. He briefly sat up to unfastened Krycek's jeans and underwear. His former partner immediately pulled him back down as soon as he finished. They rubbed sensuously against one another, heat to heat.

Gentle but sure hands pulled Mulder's jeans away entirely. He hissed and arched his back when he felt a slick finger enter him. Some dim part of him wondered how he could still be so needy after last night, but having his former partner writhing and moaning under him, and the unexpectedly experienced Pendrell taking such good care of him from behind banished everything beyond enjoyment of the moment.

Pendrell eased his cock in, then started to thrust. Mulder whimpered, and let each stroke move him along Krycek's body. The friction and stimulation from two fronts drove Mulder insane. The movement apparently did wonders for Krycek, who was all but purring, too. He hoped his former partner's jacket and shirt didn't ride up too much, or Krycek would have some nasty rug burns on his back. Two sets of hands--one long-fingered and teasing, the other thicker and trying so hard not to press near his bandages-- roamed his skin.

They found a rhythm as they sped up. Mulder could swear he felt his heartbeat and breathing synchronize with theirs. He couldn't be sure which of them hit orgasm first, but the other two followed soon afterward. Pendrell retained the presence of mind to move himself and Mulder off of Krycek. Gasping, they tried to find the space to settle comfortably on the narrow floor.

Mulder thought he probably had a very stupid look on his face, but couldn't bring himself to care. He felt too good.

"Note to self," Krycek panted, "next time, get us a van. We need more room."

Pendrell stroked a hand down Mulder's spine and grinned as the older man leaned into the touch. "We have a bit of a problem, Alex. Mulder only has what he was wearing. We have to go clothes shopping."

"I don't know. I can't help thinking clothing would rub against his bandages, and that would be a bad thing."

"Altruism looks good on you, Alex," Mulder said wryly.

Krycek, happy with the "Alex," said, "I'm only looking out for your welfare."

Pendrell snorted. "If we keep doing this, he won't have anything he can wear in public."

"His clothes look fine."

"This time. Yours don't."

Krycek smirked. "This is worth a few sacrifices. But I see your point, and my clothes won't fit him well. Yours won't at all, Sean. You up for a little shopping, Mulder?"

//I guess I'm staying after all. What would a few days hurt?// Mulder smiled lazily. "Why not?"

******************************************************

Alex put a little more swing into his walk as he noticed the sales staff watching the three of them. He wondered if they looked as joined at the hip as they felt. If so, they probably provided the oddest sight a North Carolina mall's Jeans Country employee ever got to see.

Alex almost felt as if they were linked together by invisible bonds of heat and electricity, that he could tug at the strings a bit and get the attention of his two paramours. He smirked when Sean and Mulder chose that exact moment to glance at him. //Mine, all _mine_.//

As he roamed the store, Mulder looked looser and more relaxed than Alex had ever seen him. He currently moved in a manner that was part glide, part bounce, and all happy. Some people would see the scrape on one prominent cheekbone as a blemish, but Alex saw it as an accent mark, increasing Mulder's appeal. He'd always found bruises and scrapes attractive, and his former partner wore them well and often. With that slightly dazed half-smile etched on Mulder's face, he looked more luscious than usual. The glance he sent the salesgirl's way once almost gave her a heart attack. Alex could shamelessly ogle Mulder as he pleased, because most of the sales staff was too absorbed in doing the same to notice him doing it. It amazed him that Mulder never seemed to notice people eyeing him. //He must have been an awkward kid. There can't be any other explanation.//

Sean watched it all with a tolerant but dark amusement. He looked like the boy next door, if your neighbors were a Midwestern farm family. Innocent and wholesome, the type of upstanding young man who sung in the church choir and helped old women cross streets. He probably did, too. Nondescript. Most people probably saw him and looked right over him. None of that changed the fact that Sean Pendrell had turned out to be a tiger in sheep's clothing. Sure, he was sweeter and nicer than any human should be, but he was also one of the hottest lovers Alex had ever had, and that was saying something.

//Madness on one side, stability on the other, and me in the middle. What could be better?//

Having Mulder gave a man the pride that came from owning something the rest of the world coveted. Having Sean gave a man the pride that came in noticing the value that the rest of the world foolishly missed seeing. And they were both his.

If it made Sean happy to get Mulder some clothing, why not? Alex felt rich today...

******************************************************

Sean felt a bit uncomfortable, certain that everyone was staring at him. Alex and Mulder, sure, but him? //People rarely stare at me for good reasons...// But that wasn't quite true. He'd have no problems at all with the way Alex and Mulder kept shooting him hungry glances if they hadn't been doing it in front of so many people.

//Hunh. I'm uncomfortable, but not afraid. Do I look different? I _feel_ different... Maybe I'd be more scared if I didn't know Alex would shoot anyone who hassled us.//

When they brought two pairs of jeans, three T-shirts, three pairs of socks, some underwear, and a sweater to the counter, Alex charged it under the name "Peter Wagner" and signed the slip with a flourish. Mulder gave him a wry look but didn't appear too bothered by it. //This could actually work if we both look the other way.//

As they walked through the mall, bags in hand, Mulder asked, "Could we stop at a men's room? I'd like to change out of these clothes."

"Sure. Is it okay with you, Alex?" Sean understood. He had washed the mud out of Mulder's clothing at the lab's main sink this morning, but they still looked, and must have felt, a little grungy.

"No problem." Alex smiled, somehow combining care, sex, and pure danger in one gesture.

By the time Sean started to breathe again, he realized that Mulder had halfway propelled him down a dim side hallway, with Alex following. The men's room was deserted when they entered. Mulder took the Swiss army knife Alex offered and went into a stall.

After making plenty of rustling sounds with the bag, Mulder called out, "Sean, I was wondering if you check my scrapes. I want to be able to get these bandages off as soon as possible."

"Sure. I'll be right in." Sean looked to Alex, but the other man just smirked. "What?" Sean hissed.

"Oh, nothing." Alex kissed his nose and directed him to the door.

After Sean went in, he started having difficulties breathing again. //You've seen Mulder naked plenty of times in the last day. Almost naked shouldn't be this big a deal.// He carefully removed the bandages and took a look at the abrasions. He had to move Mulder's boxers, the only clothing the other agent currently wore, around to do so.

"They look good, Mulder. No seepage. I think we can leave most of them off, and just keep the parts of it your jeans would rub covered." Sean re-bandaged the parts that needed it and stood up. The tiny stall pressed him close to Mulder.

"That's great. You've been so nice to me, Sean, even after I've been so nasty to you."

"Yeah, well--"

"I'd like to make it up to you." Then Mulder swooped in for a deep kiss, knocking Sean back against the door, while his nimble fingers unfastened Sean's khaki pants. Mulder pulled away a moment to ask, breathlessly, "This isn't too fast for you, is it?"

"No," Sean gasped. "But you don't have to--" Mulder tongued his ear and pulled his briefs down. "Oh, hell, whatever makes you happy." Sean thought he heard snickering outside the stall.

Mulder dropped down. "Would fast and dirty be fine with you?" he asked, breathing hotly on Sean's throbbing cock.

"Yes, please..." //I'm about to get head in a men's room stall. Is that fine with me? You bet it is...//

"Oh, good."

Mulder nipped at first before sucking him in. Sean heard the metal locking bar bang repeatedly as he bucked against the door. When Mulder started to toy with his balls too, he moaned shamelessly and grabbed the older man's shoulders. He came hard, shouting Mulder's name, before collapsing back against the dented door.

After one last, sensuous lick, Mulder asked, "Good?" then grinned when he saw the dazed, blissed-out look on Sean's face.

"Mulder, you can verbally abuse me all you want if it leads to this."

"As long as I orally abuse you later?"

Sean could only nod.

"Help me dress?"

Sean used Alex's Swiss army knife to cut the tags off and handed the items to Mulder. Sean had to admit, with some envy, that Mulder, with his lean height, certainly wore clothing well. //And he looks damned good naked too.//

When they left the stall, Sean noticed Alex zipping up again. The thought that Alex had been out here getting off on the sounds he had made as Mulder got him off, along with the suddenly inescapable image of Alex stroking himself, instantly affected Sean's groin. //Behave! I'm sure you'll get more later! When did I get so greedy?//

Mulder grinned lushly at them both, then said, "I really want a cookie. Does anyone else want a cookie?"

******************************************************

Sean decided that the only thing stranger than him having sex with Mulder had to be making sand castles with Mulder; though with the way the trip had been going so far, something further down the road might top even this.

At least, they had started out building it together. Mulder currently fussed over Alex, who was trying hard to cover what seemed to be some kind of phobic reaction. The former agent had been fine until he saw the ocean, with its night-dark waters gilded with moonlight, rippling toward the shore. Few people would have noticed the way Alex had gone briefly stiff--his eyes widening and breathing speeding up--but Sean and Mulder had spent the past day studying that body. They said they didn't need to go to the beach, but Alex, with what might have been a tinge of self-disgust, refused to alter his plan. They were going to the beach. Right now Mulder, who seemed to have some idea of what the problem was, had Alex so engrossed in necking that the scenery escaped him entirely.

Sean appreciated the locale for the both of them. He found the sight of white-highlighted black waves gently rolling into shore almost as soothing as the soft rushing sounds they made. The arching sky above them ranged from orange-purple over the main strip far behind them to blue-black, occasionally touched with moonlight, over the ocean. They'd had to walk for a half-hour to find a deserted section, but the effort had been worthwhile. Shaping cool, damp sand put him into a calm, trance-like state. The two warm bodies at his side had the opposite effect.

Sean couldn't help feeling like he violated some sort of uniform code. They both wore leather and denim, while he looked like a preppie in his green polo shirt and khaki Dockers. Then, the mental image of the three of them being dressed exactly alike in leather jackets, jeans, and T-shirts made him chuckle.

Pooky's head popped out of the open hatch on the top of his plastic carrier to look at Sean for a moment before he went back down. When they had returned to the minivan, the intensely--well, sulky--mouse had narrowed his green eyes at them before turning his back on them entirely. He hadn't perked up until he stole and ate a bit of Sean's chocolate chip cookie. Pendrell knew that he wasn't just ascribing human behavior to the little rodent; Pooky actually behaved in some very unmouse-like ways. The color hadn't been the only thing that had changed.

Pooky became ever more interesting as a study subject. Sean just hoped that he didn't get himself eaten by a seagull.

"Sean, you don't mind that I brought us here at night, do you?" Alex asked as he molded himself to Sean's back.

Sean leaned back. "Not at all. During the day, if I don't slather myself with suntan lotion, I explode into flames. Fwoosh, another redhead ignited."

Hot, soft lips teased his ear. "And suntan lotion tastes awful."

"Maybe I should invent edible lotion. I would just have to figure out how to make sun protection tasty."

"The world would thank you, I'm sure," Mulder said as he rested his head on Sean's leg and looked up at him.

"There's a huge need for it."

"Edible suntan lotion," Krycek said wryly.

"No, sex on the beach. Agh! You bastard, stop!" Sean dissolved into helpless giggles under his tormentor's tickling hand.

Mulder writhed under Alex's other hand. "What did _I_ do?" he shrieked.

"Sat back, and let it happen. Make me your straight man, will you, Pooky..."

"'Straight'? No, not under the arms!"

Part consciously and part helplessly, Sean writhed harder, forcing Alex to let go of Mulder entirely to keep assaulting his primary target. "I want you to say `uncle,' Pooky, then I'll stop," Alex said.

"Uncle! C'mon!"

"Well, what do you know, I was lying."

"Mulder! Could you give me a hand here? I can't breathe!"

Mulder sat there and grinned. "I don't know..."

"Mulder!"

"All right." Mulder grabbed Alex by the shoulders but couldn't break his death-grip. After some confused wrestling in the sand, Alex had both of them pinned.

"Some help you turned out to be," Sean muttered.

"He's not tickling you any more, is he?"

Alex sank down between them. "It's no fun beating people who never had a chance."

"Oh, really?" Mulder asked before he grabbed Alex in a Full Nelson and wrapped his legs around the other man's to keep him in place. "Now it's time for TOTCHA!"

"You couldn't torture your way out of a paper bag." Alex squirmed against his captor, although that move seemed to torment them both.

"Didn't say _I_ would be doing it. Sean?"

Sean grinned. "It all looks so good..." Sean ravaged Alex with kisses--starting at the lips, traveling in nips down the elegant neck, savaging his nipples through the thin cotton of his T-shirt--while cupping and squeezing the erection that had quickly started to swell the tight jeans. "Those jeans look uncomfortable. Do you want me to help you get loose?"

*****

Pleasure-dazed, Alex looked at the dilated eyes of the man in front of him and wriggled a little more to feel the man behind him shudder and buck again. //Am I too proud to beg? Hell, no.// "Do it."

Sure fingers soon had him exposed, the shock of cool night air on his hot throbbing flesh making him harder. Sean stroked and pulled while resuming his attack on Alex's nipples. His other hand traveled over Alex's hip to unfasten Mulder's jeans, with the older man's bucking sometimes trapping that hand against Alex's ass.

He knew they had seen his moment of weakness--that moment when he had seen black water, but his mind had thrown up the memory of a thicker fluid forcing its way out of him--and hated that. But he had to say that their concern had led to some great distractions. //I have to keep this in mind. Oh, this is so good. I love you both...//

Alex desperately wished he could use his hands to direct things more, but Mulder had him immobilized, forcing him to Sean's pace, and the frustration only increased his lust. When Sean finally had the both of them bare, the feel of Mulder's hard length pushing against his ass almost made him howl and come in Sean's hand right there.

Sean's hand abandoned Alex's cock to twine around him and get the condoms and lubricant out of Mulder's jacket. As the lab tech prepared Mulder and ground against Alex, Alex had to ask, gasping, "Where the hell did you learn this?"

Sean laughed against Alex's chest. "During the dry spell after college, I became the X-rated Walter Mitty." Then he slid a slick finger into Alex while bringing the other hand back to stroke and tease the cock it had abandoned moments before.

"Now!" Alex moaned. "I want it all now, damn you!"

When Mulder plunged in and started to thrust, he finally let go of Alex's arms. Alex could barely think from the friction he was getting from both sides, but he retained the presence of mind to rip into Sean's pants, pulling the button off and ruining the zipper. He stroked Sean, Sean stroked him, and Mulder's long, ruthless strokes seemed to travel through his whole body. He and Sean screamed into one another's mouths, while Mulder muffled his own by biting his shoulder.

After a while, Sean said, "I'm not looking forward to getting the sand out."

******************************************************

They eventually wandered back to their room and took an exhausted shower together, too tired to indulge in the kind of horseplay they might have usually gotten into in the tiny tub. The bed was a bit too small for all three of them too, but they all clambered in, damp and shower-warm, and huddled under the covers.

Mulder sighed softly at the rare feeling that all was right with the world. He had Sean on one side and Alex on the other, with Pooky in his clear plastic carrier on the nightstand seeming to look benevolently down on them. Or maybe the mouse was just happy eating his strip of lettuce and nestling in his wood shavings; who knew?

Mulder felt tired and achy, but a _good_ tired and achy. His mood was probably a direct result of all the endorphins almost non-stop sex brought, but that was more than fine with him. He might actually sleep again tonight.

But, as Alex started to turn off the light, Mulder had to ask, "Could we... leave the TV on? Just on low? It helps me..."

He felt Alex's low rasp against his neck. "No problem, Mulder."

Some action flick with Arnold Schwarzenegger as an inhuman mound of muscle that refused to die no matter what you threw at him came on. Snuggled against his lovers--with Alex nuzzling his neck, Sean's arms wrapped around him, and the muted sounds of explosions in the distance--Mulder drifted into sleep.

******************************************************

From Sean Pendrell's private journal (notes on subject Pooky and the greening phenomenon to be rewritten more formally later):  
_...My eyes haven't gotten any greener since I left the lab, so the catalyst must be in the building, maybe even in the lab itself. It's disturbing to think about, but I haven't noticed any differences in my mind or behavior since my greening. Well, except for the fact that I currently seem to be part of a traveling three-ring sex circus._

_Oh, shit. That_ might_ count as different. But can I honestly say I wouldn't have jumped at this if I hadn't been exposed to some sort of bizarre mutagen?_

_This last bit is_ not_ going into my formal report._

_The longer I observe Pooky (and I have to give him a more scientific name for the formal version!), the more convinced I am that his mutation has involved a sizable increase in intelligence. He appears to know his name and can usually follow simple commands. I have to see if tone of voice has anything to d--_

"Alex!" Sean gasped as he fended off roaming hands and a mouth. "I'm writing!"

"Then stop," Alex said before he dragged Sean back off to bed and Mulder. "I have more useful things for your hands to do."

******************************************************

They hadn't gotten out of bed until 10:45 a.m., fifteen minutes before checkout, and Sean felt ashamed. Sloth, avarice, gluttony, and lust, all before noon. He would have called in to work this morning anyway, but his guilt provided more of a spur.

//Can it be wrong if it feels so good? Don't answer that.//

But he didn't feel guilty while he was with them. It all felt too _right_, too comforting.

Pooky wandered in circles on his shoulder for a while before curling up right next to his neck to doze, providing a calming, soft warmth. Sean didn't know if he'd be able to turn the little guy over to the bureau again. The rank-and-file might want to vivisect him, and, if the shadowy forces Mulder believed in really existed, others might kill him and make him disappear...

//I can think about that later. Right now, I have an obligation to tend to.//

A harried voice answered the phone. It took Sean a moment to realize that he was talking to Agent George Knipfel, who never got upset over anything. George's voice took on a higher tone of near hysteria after Sean identified himself.

"Thank God you called, Sean. Maybe you can help somehow... A green squirrel is tearing the lab apart."

"A... green squirrel." Sean had left the squirrel at the lab, but it had been in a cage at the time. How did it get out? "You're kidding, right?"

"No! It's wreaking havoc. I can't believe how strong the little rodent is! It looks like it tore its way out of one of the cages before going on a rampage."

//Super Squirrel?// Sean remembered how everyone had been laughing at him over all this before he left. "Funny, George. A green squirrel. Good one."

"This isn't a joke! I swear I remember you saying something about green animals before you left, and I know you're constantly dealing with Mr. and Mrs. Spooky--"

"George, that's insulting to both Mulder and Scully. They work hard and don't deserve to be smeared like that. You had your fun, but it's over. A green squirrel. Good one. I'm sure you guys have everything under control. I'm having a great time. Wish you were here! Well, not really. 'Bye!" Sean slammed the phone down. He stared at it for two minutes, then picked it up and redialed. "I'm sorry. I lost my temper a bit."

"It's okay, Sean, really. Could you--"

"Have you been seeing anything else turning green in the lab? Test animals, bugs... other lab technicians?"

"We found a few bugs, but no other animals-- People?"

"I should get my identification stats updated. My eyes have gone from blue to aqua."

"Oh, God, Sean--"

"It hasn't gone any further since I went on vacation, so it's something in the building."

"Then you _do_ know what's going on."

"No, I don't know what's causing it. When I brought it up to our illustrious supervisors, they told me I was working too hard and firmly suggested I not bother my co-workers with it. They also told me that if I didn't take a vacation, I would face disciplinary action."

"Shit. Do you think they're in on it?"

Once, the idea would have been blasphemous. Now... "I have no idea."

"Okay. I'll think of something." George already sounded much calmer. "Will you be coming back soon?"

"I don't know. It hasn't been a planned vacation, in any sense of the word." Sean watched Alex and Mulder walk toward him. They moved like two cats on the prowl, loose and sinuous. //_Mine_.// The surge of lust the sight of them brought still surprised him. "I don't know. I'm in South Carolina right now. George, I have a feeling that the evidence of this might start to disappear. Be careful."

"Sure, kid. Enjoy your time off."

"Thanks, I am." Sean hung up the phone and waited for his partners to catch up to him. //Can the whole world tell I want to jump them right now? I hope not.//

Alex leaned against the wall in full, relaxed sprawl, no doubt fully aware of how sexy he looked doing it. "Mulder here wants to play miniature golf. You game?"

Mulder pouted, but in such an exaggerated way it was obvious he didn't take offense. And his pout looked sexy. "Myrtle Beach is famous for its theme miniature golf."

"To whom?"

"Giant, painted metal animals give me a happy, okay?"

Sean had seen the signs for pirate- and jungle-themed miniature golf parks last night. "I don't mind at all, but I can't see _you_ just giving in, Alex. What's the deal?"

"If we play one game, we have to find a hotel and spend the rest of the day in bed."

"Seems like a win-win situation to me," Mulder said.

"Me too," Sean said. "Let's the games begin."

******************************************************

"Alex, please give me your jacks," Sean said, wincing a little as he tried to find a more comfortable way to sit. At least the hot water and circulating bubbles felt really good. He was grateful he'd had the foresight to get them a room with a hot tub. He had already appreciated his foresight in getting them a room with a mirror on the ceiling over the bed.

"I don't believe I'm doing this," Alex grumbled.

Mulder looked at his two tired and worn-down partners and wondered if he looked as exhausted, achy, and debauched to them. He certainly felt that way. "I'm getting too old."

Sean shook his head. "Mulder, are you telling me that there was a time when ten straight hours of sex, especially considering the day and night of sex that preceded them, wouldn't faze you at all? I'm fazed, and I think even Alex is fazed."

"Am not, and it wasn't non-stop," Alex said.

"Trips to the vending machines don't count. We didn't even get fully dressed to go out."

"When you put it that way, Sean, no. And thanks for making me feel better," Mulder said, answering Sean's smile with a lush look they all would have done something about a few hours ago. "And I'm really appreciating the hot tub."

"You're very welcome. Alex, please give me your jacks."

Pooky nibbled contentedly on a cheese puff as he guarded the stack of cards. The odd, jerky motion of the small floating table didn't seem to bother him at all. He turned his head to look at Alex, then twitched his pale green whiskers.

"I'm not doing this."

"You were the one who demanded we stop playing poker. We could switch back. You might even win your money back."

"You both cheated somehow; I just have to prove it. If you let me deal the cards--"

"We tried that," Mulder said, "and noticed you stacking the deck. We can forget about the money--"

"No, I'm good for it. $5,000 for Sean, and $3,000 for you." Alex directed a stern look at both of them. They smiled back. //I've corrupted them too well.// "I _will_ figure it out."

Blue eyes that had a small hint of green glinted, and lips swollen and bruised from kissing elongated into a predator's smile. //The card shark raises its head.// It all looked so odd and so sexy on Sean's freckled innocent's face that Alex wanted to grab the agent again. Then his body protested, reminding him why they had been forced to play cards to begin with. So unfair.

"_Do_ you have the jacks, Alex?" Sean asked softly, with an almost sultry tone. "If not, you have to say it."

"Like hell."

"You know you want to," Mulder said as he placed his cards facedown on the table and put his hand down under the water. Mulder's hands were every bit as talented as they looked, and one of them stroked Alex's cock back to life in slow circles.

Alex groaned. "You're ganging up on me."

Mulder also had that freshly-and-happily-laid look to him, and he wore it so well... "Like you and Sean ganged up on me earlier: for my own good. Say it." His hand kept moving.

"Go fish," Alex moaned.

"Was that so hard?" Sean asked.

"It is now, you bastard."

******************************************************

Alex muzzily woke up in near darkness with his thumb in his mouth. //Have to stop doing that; Momma says I'll ruin my teeth...// Then clarity returned, and he realized he had someone else's thumb in his mouth. A few minutes of fumbling revealed it to be Mulder's. //Wonder how that got there?// He had to be tired; he usually woke up in seconds.

Something had dragged him back to consciousness. The morning light creeping around the edge of the heavy curtain showed Alex that Sean was awake and staring at nothing. "What's wrong, Pooky?" Alex asked softly.

"Don't call me--" Sean answered just as softly. "Nice try, Alex, but I have to go back. The guys at the lab need me."

This was bad. Very bad. He should have seen this coming, but he hadn't wanted to look that far ahead.

Alex didn't want Sean to leave. Alex had gotten used to Sean's presence and concern, his welcome flashes of mischief and even more appreciated sensuality.

He also knew that Sean's departure, especially if he left to fulfill some sense of obligation, would reawaken Mulder's own sense of duty and insane obsession to find The Truth, whatever that was supposed to be. You could drug Mulder with love and pleasure for only so long before his demons started riding him again. Alex would lose them both.

Alex thought of trying to talk Sean out of it but had heard the iron in his voice. Once the little redhead made up his mind, nothing would change it. //It's actually one of the things the three of us have in common.

//I could _make_ them stay...// But it wouldn't be the same. Not at all. They would hate him for it, and the whole feeling of fun and spontaneity their relationship had had would be gone forever.

"What's going on?" Mulder asked sleepily as he yawned and stretched.

//That's only one of the things I'm going to miss.// "Sean feels that he has to go back to work," Alex said, his voice a low, flat rasp. The slight rays of morning revealed the relaxation fading from green-gold eyes, to be replaced by the more familiar, jittery look that spoke of Duty and The Truth. //Damn it all.//

"We... still have to drive back, so we still have some time left together." Sean reached out in a way that let him hug Mulder and loosely embrace Alex. "I hope this wasn't just temporary insanity. I'd like to do this again someday soon."

"Me too," Mulder said, sounding a bit shaky. "What about you, Alex?"

"Try to keep me away." //Next time I get you, I'm making sure you won't be able to remember your own _names_, let alone anything else that could take you away.//

"And I'm _not_ giving Pooky back, either."

******************************************************

Mulder wilted under Scully's icy blue stare. He didn't think she was buying his story at all. "So, I don't remember a thing, Scully. Really."

Her eyebrows rose into her hairline. "As it happens, those marks on your neck were made by human teeth. Two different humans, from the size differences, and probably... both of them male. Does that bring back any memories at all?"

Shit. He had tried to hide them, but so many were just too high to be covered by his collar. Cover stick hadn't worked at all, looking too pink-orange to do anything other than draw attention.

"I'm afraid not."

"Did these... `aliens' use anal probes?"

Mulder couldn't help the blush that took over his face. "Uh..." //Too close to the truth by half.//

"Right. Don't you think it would make sense to check for human DNA in other--"

"Um, no, and I probably wasn't in any position to refuse. At least I don't remember... They'd probably get mad and take over the Earth. Really."

"Right. So your aliens are really just cruising the galaxies looking for back-door nooky?"

"Scully!"

"Have you guessed yet that I find your story less than believable?"

"I don't know, but I was beginning to get that idea. I detected just a hint of sarcasm."

Scully took him by the arm and took advantage of his surprise to lead him out of the office and down the hall. Once she felt confident that they were far enough down the empty basement corridor, she said, "Now that we're out of the office, you can tell me what really happened."

"What?"

"I know you think the office is bugged. Spill it."

Lying hadn't worked. It rarely did with her, which was why he usually chose to keep her completely in the dark. //Let's see how you handle the truth. You asked for it...// "Okay. I was abducted by Pendrell and Krycek. I spent the last few days with them."

"_Our_ Pendrell and Krycek?"

"Yes."

"Shy lab technician Pendrell who can barely say a non-job-related word without tripping over his own tongue."

"Well, he's not always like that, but yes."

"Traitorous, murderous Alex Krycek your former partner."

"Well, he's not always like that either, but yes."

"The hickeys--"

"Theirs, yes, okay?" Her face took on a horribly hurt look. It made him feel like the lowest life form that had ever oozed across the dirt. "I'm sorry, Scully."

"Mulder, I understand `don't ask, don't tell,' but I'm upset. Upset [1] that you lied to me, and [2] that you thought I would believe such a ridiculous one. Pendrell and Krycek? Have _some_ respect for me. I appreciate that you somehow convinced Agent Pendrell to call you in for you to give this story some credence, but still!"

So much for telling the truth. "Scully--" //She even forgot that she was the one who dragged "this story" out of me!//

"Krycek and Pendrell. Together, with you. Krycek alone, maybe, if you were letting your little head do all the thinking for you, but... You _do_ know I'd kill you, right?" She shook her head. "I won't ask again, since you obviously don't want to tell me. I'll even keep it quiet from Skinner, since I can understand the need for secrecy. But I have one request."

Mulder dreaded this one. "Yes?"

"If Pendrell and Krycek ever abduct you again to make you their sex slave, you better bring me along so I can watch."

//Thick enough to cut with a knife. Sarcastic much, Scully?// "I'll try."

"That's all I can ask."

As they walked back to the office, they met a very nonplussed-looking Skinner waiting for them. Since it took a hell of a lot to faze their assistant director, Mulder couldn't wait to hear this one.

"You're needed at the lab," Skinner said. His voice sounded harsher than usual. "The lab boys are reporting a rampage by a... green squirrel. The lab is demolished."

Mulder raced to the lab, followed by Scully, who mumbled the usual phrases of disbelief. The sight that greeted them when they got there left one thing absolutely clear even to Scully: the lab had been devastated. Broken glass and torn metal wire had been strewn across every surface. The harried-looking lab technicians scrambled to catch a green blur that kept eluding them.

From the hall behind them, someone said, "Hi, honey, I'm home." Pendrell walked into the lab and looked around in some disbelief. The green blur changed direction on a bounce and came flying toward him. Mulder had a sudden horrified image of Sean getting his throat ripped out. Instead, the squirrel halted in front of Pendrell and climbed up his trench coat until it reached his shoulder. Once there, it circled for a minute before settling down to sleep, its fluffy tail with its varying shades of green curled around itself, making it look like a bizarre, furry epaulet.

//I'll be...//

The other lab boys actually cheered. Mulder's almost expected them to start singing Sean's praises. Sean grinned and sent a heated look in Mulder's direction before he walked amidst his people, murmuring comforting phrases and patting shoulders. Scully had been too stunned by the spectacle to notice.

"...and we're going to find out what's causing the mutations after we clean up the lab, and..."

Mulder couldn't stop grinning. //Chaos, blessed chaos. Maybe Scully might even notice Sean's neck. Only having Alex around could make things better...// He shook that thought off. There was nothing he could do about that. //It's still good to be home.//

### End


End file.
